So that when I am sad all the Elephants in my tribe pet me until I am better.


Jimmy- I have 3 of the sookie stackhouse series books and read them do you want to read them? 

 

 

 It's unreal how such little wine can have such a calming slap happy effect.  

Oprah wants your karaoke video.  

place does not deliver to my house so I am forced to increase my carbon footprint for Indian food.  Life is so unfair.  

 I bought Garlic Basil Polenta today and organic rice pudding.  

got a parking ticket yesterday- usually i fight these but eh.

we need to make a couple of big purchases-

the dyson all floor vaccum 
and this
and some area rugs. 

and I had to go to the dentist a turkish man whose manner of speaking was very pleasant.  I like the way Europeans speak.

because as a Republican I defended President Obama.  It's a little funny.  

 http://www.27bslash6.com/flash.html

 I am slap happy and cannot sleep.  Goddamn you cafe latte!  I had it at 9 am!!!   9 AM I AM TYPING IN CAPS LIKE KANYE WEST EXPRESSING MY FEELINGS. 

 I feel a lot of stress at the moment.  

 

 

The End of America- it's interesting. 

moving in 10 days. start work on friday.  comcast on tuesday.  new neighbours on the 5th- they have cats.  but they are cute. 

 I fucking hate twitter but this shit is hilarious

1. "You need to flush the toilet more than once...No, YOU, YOU specifically need to. You know what, use a different toilet. This is my toilet."about 21 hours ago from web
2.  
   "Don't touch the bacon, it's not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i'll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing."11:15 AM Aug 22nd from web
3.  
   "Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me."8:57 AM Aug 21st from web
4.  
   "Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."9:35 AM Aug 20th from web
5.  
   "Love this Mrs. Dash. The bitch can make spices... Jesus, Joni (my mom) it's a joke. I was making a joke! Mrs. Dash isn't even real dammit!"9:28 AM Aug 19th from web
6.  
   "The dog is not bored, it's a fucking dog. It's not like he's waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He's a god damned dog."10:43 AM Aug 18th from web

Accuse them of theft because they have failed to deliver the package.
Accuse them of being terrorists for holding the package hostage,
Call them incompetent because they are unable to read or use common sense that two different people with different last names may live at 1 address. 

It should not take 2 weeks and 5 attempts to deliver one package when you are home everyday and they have the correct address and you have given it to them 4 times.  

FEDEX from now on. 

pizza from pagliacci

"chicken, mushrooms and mozzarella cover an olive oil base seasoned with minced garlic and zesty red chili pepper flakes, finished with fresh spinach"

orgasm in the mouth

go organic!